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WAR

No matter how much they sing,
No matter how much they pray,
Looks like I won't get no peace
Till I'm buried in my grave.
Brother went to Libya.
Sister went to Iran.
Uncle went to India.
Auntie went to Pakistan.
No matter what they promised me,
No matter what they say,
Looks like I won't get no peace,
Till I'm buried in my grave.
One grandpa fought for Lee.
One grandpa fought for Grant.
Their friends still wave the rebel flag
At every Nascar dance.
What the hell were they fighting for?
Is still what bothers me.
They say the wars that they all fought
Were supposed to set me free.
No matter how you spin it,
No matter what the spread,
Looks like I won't get no peace
Until my ass is dead.
Some folks hate the homos,
Jews, Catholics and the blacks.
While I just keep a thinkin bout
All that's wrong with that.
No matter how they stroke it,
No matter what the grudge,
We still keep on a fightin
And no one seems to budge.
Teacher teacher tell me:
Why can't folks just git along?
She shook her head and told me
To sing this country song.
But no matter how I sing it,
And no matter how I play,
Looks like I won't git no rest
Until the judgement day.

Copyright 2009 Dr. Elmer E. Wells

ONLY IN VEGAS

The Senator and the high end escort went to Vegas in a beautiful Porche coupe.
They took some chronic and plenty of money
And called it their spending loot.
The Senator won big
And flipped his wig
While the escort danced on a table.
Then pulled his gun
And tried to run
But he just wasn't quite able.
The escort swore she was Pussy Samore
But her real name was Jennifer Vance.
The Senator swore she was only a whore
Whom he'd met while vacationing in France.
So they stayed and played
In that dessert malaise
and were found near the pool in a bed.
She, draped in diamonds, high heels and a stole
And he with a smile and quite dead.

© 2009 Dr. Elmer E. Wells


NICKNAMES

I do not need now, nor did I ever need -a nickname. So don't call me boy. I'm a mane! A Hoochee Coochee Mane. And don't call me Slick. Or Trouble Or Easy Money. To You, Miss White Woman, I know you mean well, but, with all the history of racism in this country and all the strife we experienced with Civil Rights, don't you have the slightest idea how it feels when I walk into your store and you greet me by saying "Here Comes Trouble????" Then I look into the eyes of all the white people in line and they are all smiling. Now when grandpa called me Jummix, that was different. And when my kinfolk called me Poke, that too was different. I even tolerated Sonny Boy -from my mother. Do you see the difference?? And you, Mr. Black man, when you see me standing talking with white folks or if you see me sitting at the banquet table, don't walk up and call me Slick! Or Easy Money! Is you out of yo fucken mind, Brotha??? And you, Young Fool, unless we are standing alone together, just the two of us, and you know for sho no one else round don't call me Yo Nigga! On the other hand now, ifn some pretty bitch want to call me her Nigga while we's in bed??? That's alright. And ifn I be in bed with another pretty bitch who wants to kiss all up on me, and call me Slick or Easy Money, that's all right too. For that time and that time only, I'll be her Nigga too. Again I ask you, do you see the difference?? But if it don't fall into one of the categories illustrated, then you call me Elmer. Or call me Eugene. Or Mr. Wells. Or Dr. Wells. Or if you are from Thailand or Indonesia and English is your second or third or fourth language, you can even call me Dotta Well.


© 2009 Dr. Elmer E. Wells


THE GRIM REAPER

You can rip off the people
for 10 billion dollars.
Choke the monkey
'till it hollers.
Steal the life savings from your mother.
Cancel the health insurance for your brother.
Take welfare away from poor folks.
Play golf and tell ethnic jokes.
Send teenagers off to war.
Make money when oil prices soar.
Filch seniors' pensions.
Incite racial tensions.
Live in luxury while the poor get poorer,
and their debts get deeper and deeper.
But there's one thing your money can't buy:
A pardon from the Grim Reaper.

Copyright 2009 Dr. Elmer E. Wells


ONE CRAAAZY PARTY

I'm at this party which was going quite well
When in walks a horny toad
A gorilla and a gazelle.
Followed by three nuns, one Rabbi
and a Priest;
Two hookers, five clowns and an alien beast.
Meanwhile, the cobra and python in the band
Were jammin' and singin'
And clappin' their hands.
Why fight it I thought?
Perhaps too soon,
When a monkey poked fun at a pregnant baboon.
That's when the unicorns became enraged
And let the rhinos out of their cage.
Thank God, the strippers had come to town.
They danced and settled
The whole place down.
So I danced with a tiger, a spider and a whale.
And when I woke up the next day,
My ass was in jail.
Now there's one thing I can tell you for shore:
I ain't goin'
To none of dem parties
No more.

Copyright 2009 Dr. Elmer E. Wells